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Uh oh.

Posted by Mr. Longmire on Feb 2, 2009 in Uncategorized

bongOlympic swimming champion and All-American-Boy Michael Phelps recently got tagged in a photo showing him taking a hit of marijuana at a party, and now a lot of his endorsement deals may be in jeopardy.

Well, if it’s any consolation, the pipe shown IS the official bong of the 2008 Summer Olympics.

 
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Oops…

Posted by Mr. Longmire on Jan 21, 2009 in Uncategorized

Well, after a glorious event yesterday, the first full day of the new presidency got off to an awkward start when Obama started cracking jokes to his cabinet about Joe Biden’s hair, unaware that the VP had entered the room and was standing directly behind him…

obama_and_joe

The teary-eyed Vice President was rumored to have screamed “I hate ALL of you!” and ran sobbing from the room to his office, knocking a stack of papers out of an administrative assistant’s hands on his way out. He was unconsolable until midday when the president came by and made amends with a McDonald’s Happy Meal (McNuggets with BBQ sauce), apologized by saying that sometimes the president says things he doesn’t mean, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love the vice president. The president then told the vice president a funny knock-knock joke and got him to smile. Biden then said “Well, I guess my hair IS a little weird…” and they burst out laughing and hugged each other.

Is this a great country, or what?

 
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Wow.

Posted by Mr. Longmire on Jan 20, 2009 in In the News

inaugural

Today was a special moment in our country’s history. Barack Obama became the first black President of the United States, which is an incredible feat considering the obstacles suffered by black Americans for centuries. I was awestruck by the day’s events, and it even brought a tear to my eye. I’ve never seen our country come together before as it did today… we usually unite as Americans because of unfortunate circumstances. Even if you didn’t vote for President Obama, you had to sense something good and right about today. If you didn’t feel the least bit moved, then you don’t have a pulse.

As of today, young black people now believe they REALLY can be anything they want to be in life, even President, rather than that lofty aspiration being a corny old phrase used to patronize and pacify. I heard a commentator today say that among young black Americans it is now cool to be smart.

Yesterday was the new First Lady’s birthday, and I saw images of Mrs. Obama filmed through the whistle-stop train’s windows that showed a party in progress with party hats and streamers. Mrs. Obama was shown doing a dance and enjoying herself. Have you ever seen Stepford Wife Laura Bush show the least bit of emotion? The Obamas look like a really nice NORMAL family and it will be refreshing to have a First Family that you actually like.

So long, George W. Bush. Usually, when a president leaves office you might feel a little nostalgic like you will miss them. Not with this guy. Good f’ing riddance. We are stuck with his mess and he will always be remembered for it. I wonder if his defenses ever come down and he, if just for a fleeting moment, has any remorse for what he’s done and realizes what a failure he is? Is it possible to be in such denial as to believe that your dismal approval rating is a mistake and that the majority of the population is just all wrong about their feelings toward you?

obama-time-cover1Okay, enough about the past. President Obama has got a very difficult task ahead of him and has asked for our help. I’m willing, are you? I like the man, but the media has painted Obama to be some kind of a savior, which only sets him up to be a disappointment. Let’s wish him the best and work together on fixing the country.

Oh, and on a personal note, this is the first time a President has been younger than me… by two years. That is a strange feeling.

And on another note, it was unfortunate that there was some confusion in the recital of the Presidential oath of office this morning resulting in a fumbling of the words. Not to worry, President Obama will get it right the SECOND time in 2013.

 
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Just a few more days left…

Posted by Mr. Longmire on Jan 17, 2009 in In the News

Below is President Bush’s last address to the nation, which aired last Thursday evening, in case you missed it. And below that video is another featuring the president and first lady on Larry King Live, which aired on Wednesday night.

This second video is very revealing… it shows how Bush has had little regard for how the American people feel about how he’s ran the country. Bush… and his wife… have a “we’re right, you’re wrong, and we don’t care what you say about it” attitude.

We finally have just a few days left of this fool. Hopefully, Obama will do some good for us, but it’s not going to be easy for him.

I’m taking the day off on Inauguration Day to kick back and watch the fun. I’m recording the events on video, so maybe I can get some good jokes out of it.

 
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Drink up, my children…

Posted by Mr. Longmire on Jan 13, 2009 in Excellent Ideas

flasks

Hey, I was thinking that it would be cool for all of us to drink out of a hip flask everywhere we go. Thanks to irresponsible drunks throughout history, the flask has suffered a bad reputation but it doesn’t need to be that way anymore. As long as it doesn’t contain alcohol, there shouldn’t be a problem if we put some Sprite in that baby instead. But maybe we should use one that doesn’t have the word “WHISKEY” blatantly engraved on the front like the one pictured. Why ask for trouble.

Imagine slipping a flask out of your back pocket at work during a meeting and taking a sip. If anybody has a problem with it, just tell them you are expressing your personal diversity. That, and you are powerful thirsty.

You could take your flask to church, to funerals, to your kid’s school play, a job interview, on a first date, an evening drive through town, to a court appearance or meeting with your probation officer, or even to an AA meeting. The possibilities are endless.

And, sometimes a flask carried in the inside breast pocket of a suit or jacket can stop a bullet. It can’t stop one anywhere else. It has to be in that particular pocket… while you are wearing it.

If the flask isn’t for you, you could carry around an old west canteen. The striped kind the cowboys drank out of during a thirsty cattle drive (and also handy for pouring water out to extinguish a campfire at the crack of dawn). Or… you could go old, OLD, school and carry around a leather water sack like they did back in bible days. God would be proud of you for once.

Come on, these are way cooler than a plastic water bottle.

I’m in…. who’s with me?

 
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WALL-E, TV converter boxes, Comcast, etc.

Posted by Mr. Longmire on Jan 13, 2009 in Entertainment, Movies

I received a $5.00 coupon from my Best Buy Reward Zone account, so I went there last night and bought a copy of WALL-E. And since I had a $40 coupon good toward a television digital converter box, I bought one of those, too. Even though I subscribe to cable TV, I might possibly need a converter. You never know.

I shuttle back and forth living at my house and at my girlfriend’s house. When I am at my house, I seldom watch television programs. I opt to choose what I put on my TV screen with movies and TV series on DVD, videogames, and NetFlix movie choices streamed through my Xbox 360. So, I went to Comcast to get rid of my cable television channels to save some money each month.

I thought it was a nice plan… a simple plan.

BOY, WAS I WRONG.

I learned that, yes, I could eliminate my channels altogether but it would make my internet bill go up $15 more each month… to block the video channels from coming in, or some nonsense like that. So, I asked them how much it would cost to keep the internet but get the cheapest , bottom of the barrel, bargain basement deal on the TV channels, and they said the very basic TV package was… guess what? $15.00 a month. Clever… they’re determined to get that damn $15.00 no matter what. So, that is where it stands, I have internet and about 12 or 13 TV channels.

Okay… whew… let me calm down a bit. All right, I feel better now. Getting back to WALL-E… I bought a DVD of the movie last night and watched it. Well, after downing a bowl of delicious Tai food as I watched, I fell asleep ¾ into the movie, but what I did see was a fascinating and beautiful little film. It had two of my favorite subjects in it. Space travel and robots. The robots don’t hardly talk save but a few scattered words here and there, so they rely on body movement to express themselves and act out emotions. I couldn’t help but notice that the body language of the characters was reminiscent of the style of the old silent film comedians such as my favorites Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton. They also had to rely on communicating through motion and gestures since there was no sound in motion pictures during their heyday. The character of WALL-E also reminded me somewhat of the pre-Star Wars drones from the film Silent Running.

In summary, WALL-E is a fun film that also sends a serious message concerning we humans ruining our home planet’s environment, super commercialism of everything, and our becoming fat, lazy beings who rely totally on technology. In other words, it’s a documentary of things to come.

 
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Golden Globes Awards

Posted by Mr. Longmire on Jan 12, 2009 in Entertainment

I watched most of the Golden Globe Awards last night. Previously, I had vaguely heard of the film Slumdog Millionaire, but after it swept through several categories last night, it is on my list of movies to see. I’m also interested in seeing Gran Torino, In Bruges, the John Adams HBO mini-series, and The Wrestler. I have also yet to see Wall-E, which won for best animated film.

Speaking of The Wrestler, Mickey Rourke won best actor in a drama for the title role of that film and his appearance and acceptance speech were quite something. After stumbling to the stage and making a few off-color remarks, he made a comment to the director of the film or whoever it was at his table and in return the guy shot him the middle finger… all on national television.

There were other moments during the Golden Globes Awards broadcast that were less than classy. They had to bleep a guy accepting an award who dropped the f-bomb. Where exactly did he think he was?

Whatever happened to the so-called glamour of Hollywood? I’m not a prude, but when it comes to award shows like the Golden Globes, Oscars, Emmys, etc., it would be nice to see adults acting as such with some grace and finesse… watch the language, and for god’s sakes, unless it’s grown out for a current role, shave your face and comb your hair for one night in your life. That goes for the men, too. I can tolerate the vulgarity and crudeness of everyday life, and sometimes I’m guilty of being a purveyor of crudeness (it is funny at certain times), but Hollywood needs to be classy as it used to be, even if it’s a short-lived illusion for an awards show.

 
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In case you need one…

Posted by Mr. Longmire on Jan 12, 2009 in Out and about

I was at a local Walgreens store and saw this sign posted…

We Sell Wheelchairs

You have to admit… it’s short, to the point, and informative.

 
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SAMMY!

Posted by Mr. Longmire on Jan 9, 2009 in Movies

Today I uploaded my first ever video to YouTube. This is a clip from the 1968 film “Salt and Pepper” starring Sammy Davis Jr. and Peter Lawford, two members of the Rat Pack. Notable in this clip is Sammy’s wireless electric guitar which is the sassiest axe in London, baby, where this movie takes place. As you can guess, the movie sucks generally but has a fun Austin Powers kind of feel to it. If you want to view the entire movie, check it out on Netflix. With a Netflix membership, you can watch it instantly on your computer or through your Xbox 360 console. The quality kind of sucks here, so feel free to click on the video image below to go to the YouTube site and then click on the “watch in high quality” link. Hey, I’m still learning!

Now, bring it on down and sock it to me, baby!

 
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Oh Lord, please let it come true…

Posted by Mr. Longmire on Jan 5, 2009 in Uncategorized

Fortune cookie fortune received at lunch today at a Chinese restaurant…

“You will have gold pieces by the bushel.”

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