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STAPLES.COM!!! YAY!!!


From: Mark
Sent: Tuesday, December 02, 2003 4:15 PM
To: Susan, Brenda, Brian, Connie, Nancy, Lucy, Mark S.
Subject: Staples.com, I LOVE YOU

 

Mark:

Dear Staples.com,

I was working on a very important job of making name badges for a retiree Christmas luncheon to be held two days from now and I ran out of badge holders (the safety pin kind). At first I panicked, cried for about half an hour, and then I remembered STAPLES.COM!

YAY!

Ordering online was fast and simple and the delivery was right on time. Not only have you saved my meaningless job, but you have saved me from the wrath of those vicious Alzheimer's-ridden retirees. Now they will be happy and content, in their own little world, knowing who they are and who each other are. Finding their way to the buffet table and the bathroom is up to them. That is not my problem as it has nothing to do with name badges, I think.

Don't tell anyone this, but I saved two badge holders to make special name badges... JUST FOR ME AND MY CAT. Not for the retiree lunch, but for home use. That way, we can see each other's name badge and say "hello, Mark!" and "hello, Jingles!" (Jingles is my cat's name.)

THANK YOU, STAPLES.COM, YOU HAVE ROCKED MY WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,

Mark Longmire

 

Connie: That made me cry...what a moving story.

 

Brenda: Mark--we'll have to talk about a "life" for you--let's set it for Jan. 1st--a new beginning------------------------------:)

 

Mark: OK, as long as it involves STAPLES.COM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Brian: Brenda is right. It's time for some kind of intervention.

 

Mark: That was uncalled for.

 

Brenda: YOU'LL LIVE.

 

Mark: I wish you could be more like STAPLES.COM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!

 

Brenda: People in hell wish for ice water!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YAY THAT

 

Mark: YAY!

 

Brenda: Mars to Mark---Mars to Mark--------------------can you hear me now---can you hear me now??????

 

Mark: Uh... Brenda... don't you mean "Earth to Mark?"

Pay more attention.

Anyway...

YAY!

 

Connie: Stop!

 

Mark: I just finished the name badges and celebrated by treating myself to a Coke!

YAY!

 

Connie: Next....a letter to Coke.

 

Mark:

Dear Staples.com and Coke.com,

I was working on a very important job of making name badges for a retiree Christmas luncheon to be held two days from now and I ran out of badge holders (the safety pin kind). At first I panicked, cried for about half an hour, and then I remembered STAPLES.COM!

YAY!

Ordering online was fast and simple and the delivery was right on time. Not only have you saved my meaningless job, but you have saved me from the wrath of those vicious Alzheimer's-ridden retirees. Now they will be happy and content, in their own little world, knowing who they are and who each other are. Finding their way to the buffet table and the bathroom is up to them. That is not my problem as it has nothing to do with name badges, I think.

Don't tell anyone this, but I saved two badge holders to make special name badges... JUST FOR ME AND MY CAT. Not for the retiree lunch, but for home use. That way, we can see each other's name badge and say "hello, Mark!" and "hello, Jingles!" (Jingles is my cat's name.)

THANK YOU, STAPLES.COM, YOU HAVE ROCKED MY WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,

Mark Longmire

P.S. I just finished the name badges and celebrated by treating myself to a Coke!

YAY!

 

Connie: You love your life! You are in love with life, and Staples, and coke.

 

Mark: DON'T FORGET MY CAT, JINGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Connie: How can I forget, Jingles...he was there at the beginning.

 

Brenda: GEE Connie--DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM

 

Connie: He is just so pumped up..it kind of draws you in.....

I know, sorry Bren.

 

Brenda: JANUARY FIRST---BE THERE!!!!!!

 

Mark: YAY!

 

 

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