Hi, I'm a weather pixie. OK, stop laughing. I SAID, STOP LAUGHING, DAMN YOU. Click here if, for some ridiculous reason, you'd like to know more about the current weather conditions in Knoxville, Tennessee. 

Thursday, 2/27/03 - I got my income tax refund a week ago, bought an X-Box game system, and I've been busy playing Halo for the past several days. I poked around on a Halo web site and got the idea for the graphic below. Christopher Shields of Dark Thoughts fame was kind enough to write the descriptive text in the graphic. It was a joint effort by two very troubled individuals.

Click on this thumbnail image for the larger graphic... and hold on to your gawd-damn ass!

Wednesday, 2/19/03 - For lack of anything better to offer you folks today, I thought I'd just anger some NASCAR fans. Why not? By request, I Photoshopped these images a few months ago for a buddy's web site. These haven't been seen on this site until now. Wow, that just sounded like an Inside Edition "exclusive!" Enjoy...

Tuesday, 2/18/03 - This past weekend, I saw the movie "Daredevil." I would describe it as a cross between Batman and Spider-Man, but not quite as good as either.

In a scene near the end of the movie, there was an agitated police detective who I envied. I long for the day when I have a legitimate reason to yell out, "WHERE THE HELL IS MY SWAT TEAM??!!!"

I did a double no-no when I went to see the movie. My daughter and two of her friends wanted to see "Final Destination 2," and since they were all 15 years old, too young to get into this R-rated movie without an adult, I had to buy all of us tickets to it together. After 15 minutes, I left the girls and slipped out of "Final Destination 2," secretly sneaked across the hall to another theater to see "Daredevil." Even though I wasn't wearing a red leather super hero suit, by risking the wrath of the teen-aged theater staff I fancied myself as a real-life daredevil nonetheless. Score one victory for Longmire!

Monday, 2/10/03 - Witness this sign for a jewelry shop in Oak Ridge, TN....

No Photoshop here... it's for real.

I called the place and they informed me that "Fudge Love" was a brand of chocolates. OK, but still... I mean, jeez, what a startling message to put up on your sign.

I turned on the Today show this morning and they were running a bio of former President Gerald Ford. My first thought was that he had just died, but it only turned out that they were leading up to an interview with him about his views on the current situation with Iraq.

So as not to mislead and upset any Gerald Ford fans out there, they maybe should have had a rolling banner at the bottom of the screen during the bio that read "Chill out... relax, people... he's still alive."

Friday, 2/7/03 - Well, the big buzz today is about that 2 hour Michael Jackson interview that aired last night on ABC's 20/20 show.

I genuinely feel sorry for the guy.

Everything I saw and heard on the show last night sadly illustrates the fact that he is a grown man that refuses to face the reality of adulthood. Hey, I act like a kid most of the time, and wish I still was sometimes, but WHOA... not like this guy. No sir.

No matter how he explains it away, 44 year-old men don't call up young boys for a sleepover. Even if it's as innocent as he claims, it's definitely unsettling and not normal. The sad part is that he can't for the life of him understand why people would disagree with his practice of having little kids sleep in the same bed with him.

There's no doubt that he has serious, serious problems originating from his childhood. His behavior and face alterations all point to the fact that he never wants to become an adult man. I believe that the image of an adult man that he has in his mind must be his father, who heaped such abuse and cruelty on him throughout his early life. It all makes sense, and it's a sad, sad story.

Thursday, 2/6/03 - Big happenings at the United Nations yesterday as Secretary of State Colin Powell presents "evidence" of Iraq's concealment of weapons of mass destruction.

Below are a few snippets from his presentation...

There should be no doubt now. Let the war begin.

Special thanks to Jonathan Clark for his contributions.

Man, oh man... I hope nobody was watching Wheel of Fortune last night. Since WOF is syndicated, I guess it may depend on where you live as to whether this particular show was aired. Anyhoo, last night, WOF was being played on the Grand Ole Opry stage in Nashville. The only male contestant was a self-proclaimed NASCAR fan, with one of those high-pitched southern accents, from the Nashville area. Sounds like a good ol' boy, huh? WRONG.

He started out playing the game OK but I started noticing a slight effeminate tone to his voice. Then he won a puzzle and went berserk. He started shrieking like a teenage girl and was jumping up and down and flailing his arms everywhere and even tried to chase Pat Sajak. It was quite a spectacle to behold.

Picture someone doing an extremely exaggerated imitation of a gay man for laughs... then multiply that by 10. That's the way he was acting, and he was for real.

Another great image of Tennessee for the rest of the country... a flaming gay redneck.

Wednesday, 2/5/03 - It was about 1:30 in the afternoon on Saturday before I learned of the Columbia shuttle disaster. All that morning, I had been working on pictures for another website and I had not bothered to turn on the TV before the early afternoon. When I did find out, I have to admit that I was surprised, of course, but not really all that shocked or dismayed. I find that as I get older and the news events seem to be on a grander scale these days, not much really shocks me any more. Maybe I'm becoming numb to events that don't involve me personally.

After the shuttle accident, it only took a day or two for fingers to start pointing blame within and outside of NASA. Seems like the space bureau execs haven't learned much since the Challenger explosion. Safety was compromised somewhat to keep costs down and adhere to a launch schedule. That's the real shame of this accident.

Last night- just out of sympathy I guess- I watched a space movie featuring the space shuttle... "Space Cowboys" with Clint Eastwood. Especially eerie was the reentry sequence showing tiles flying off the shuttle while a Houston ground controller reports on the flight status by announcing, "30 miles over Texas..."

I watched CSI:Miami again on Monday night. OK, OK, this will be the last time I mention this show... unless something else funny occurs to me. (see comment on 1/28/03)

First off, they have a really cute slang term for the word 'victim.' The CSI crew likes to say "vic" a lot. I guess skipping that extra syllable saves them a lot of time in solving a case.

The big thing I noticed was a little detail in lead actor David Caruso's tough-guy acting style. Actually, once you start noticing it, it's a really big part of his tough-guy acting style because he uses this "ultra-cool-tough-guy" move ALL THE DAMN TIME. This move of his has now become the only reason I watch the show.

Example: Caruso's character is interrogating a suspect. Caruso will start speaking with his head noticeably turned to the side, at a 90 degree angle away from the person he is talking to, and then, for "ultra-cool-tough-guy" dramatic effect, turn his head to face the person just as he ends his sentence. Or he will be looking at a piece of paper or some other object when he begins the sentence and look up to face who he is talking to (or stare into space) right at the end of the sentence. He does it ALL THE DAMN TIME.

It's really funny once you start making note of it. In fact, his routine is so consistent and numerous that it could be a drinking game... slamming a shot every time he does it.

Watch it when it's on again. I guaran-damn-tee you that you will see what I'm talking about.

©2003, Mark Longmire, The Wonderful World of Longmire